


Babies in the Bullpen

by smile_spence



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Aaron Hotchner Needs a Hug, Age Play Caregiver David Rossi, Age Play Little Aaron Hotchner, Age Play Little Derek Morgan, Age Play Little Emily Prentiss, Age Play Little Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Age Play Little Penelope Garcia, Age Play Little Spencer Reid, Age Regression/De-Aging, Autistic Spencer Reid, Bed-Wetting, Derek Morgan Needs a Hug, Diapers, Emily Prentiss Has ADHD, Emily Prentiss Needs a Hug, Everyone Gets A Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Family Dynamics, Gen, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau Needs a Hug, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Not Canon Compliant, Pacifiers, Parent David Rossi, Penelope Garcia Needs a Hug, Protective David Rossi, Sharing a Bed, Spencer Reid Gets a Hug, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Team as Family, The BAU Team as Family (Criminal Minds)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 13:47:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30090021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smile_spence/pseuds/smile_spence
Summary: The BAU team is a family, through and through. Even moreso out of work.Outside of work, they're not FBI agents anymore, but David's kids. They're free to relive a childhood they missed out on.Speaking of 'missing out,' they're missing their genius and, arguably, he needs it most of all.
Comments: 20
Kudos: 83





	Babies in the Bullpen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer doesn't know how to ask for what he wants, and David convinces him to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This,,, was definitely just an excuse to write about Spencer and the rest of the BAU team actually getting to relax and be taken care of by someone who loves them and not suffer anymore trauma alone. This is definitely just a crack fic, so there's not really a plot or a point or anything, and I'll likely update sporadically.   
> Obviously, don't read if you don't like non-sexual age play/regression. That just doesn't make any sense. I hope you enjoy this otherwise.

Spencer Reid was late for work, and he was _never_ late. 

David couldn't help but worry. 

Everyone could see the darkening circles around the boy's eyes that spoke of too many sleepless nights, the rumpled clothing he'd thrown on carelessly, the frequency at which he skipped lunch to stay in the bullpen, hunched over files, as his friends and teammates laughed and joked around him. 

Maybe it was the 'Papa' part of him that was so used to caring for five self-neglecting little kids in the bodies of incredibly brilliant FBI agents when he clocked out, but he worried, nonetheless. And he could tell Aaron was concerned too, the feather-haired boy biting his lip and casting anxious glances toward Spencer whenever the other boy wasn't paying attention, which was quite often. 

It was Aaron, after all, who had started this whole thing. It had been him who had dragged himself to David's hotel door one night after a case, crying and pleading with him to let the younger man stay the night. David had agreed readily, and Aaron had ended up tucked against the older man's side in the middle of the night, the tip of his thumb tucked into his mouth. David had smoothed Aaron's hair out of his face gently and woken him up by rubbing his back and that had been that. David looked after Aaron, it made both of them happy, and he'd never seen Aaron smile like he did before. 

And then, when Derek had broken down crying in the back of a police station conference room after a particularly difficult case, Aaron had carefully tugged David's sleeve and led him to the trembling boy, promising Derek that David could make it better. David had rubbed Derek's back and comforted him quietly, and Derek had given him a watery smile and a hug and, soon, he joined Aaron in sandwiching the man on the conference room couch when they got anxious and needed reassurance. 

And, he and Derek had done it again and again, bringing a sniffling Emily to David's office when she'd gotten a rotten phone call from her mother, leading David by the hand to a caterwauling JJ, who had just gotten so overwhelmed that it drowned her, driving a shaking Penelope to his house after work when she blamed herself for failing to break through a firewall that led to them being unable to save a victim in time on their last case. 

David didn't really know how, but he became 'Papa' to five brilliant, sweet little kids inside of worn-down workaholics, and his giant house didn't feel so empty anymore with JJ and Penelope's ringing laughter echoing from upstairs and their stuffed animals stuffed into the corner of his couch and Emily's eager chatter in soft Italian and Derek's Legos spread out on the living room floor and Aaron's blankie draped over the back of the recliner. Friday nights weren't so quiet and lonely anymore; instead, filled with movie nights with kids cuddled up next to him, Penny singing along to the _Frozen_ soundtrack as Derek feigned disinterest by laying on the floor, halfheartedly moving a car back and forth along the carpet as he got distracted by the TV, Emily and JJ pressed cheek to cheek as they cuddled together and inevitably fell asleep intertwined, Aaron's head pillowed against his shoulder as he pressed the fabric of his blanket to his face, knees pulled up to his chest. It was adorable, heart-warming, and it made David feel like he'd done something wonderful whenever one of _his kids_ beamed at him. 

But, if any kid needed extra TLC, it was Spencer Reid. 

David could see it now, after plenty of practice with five guilt-ridden kiddos already. The fervent denial of even the slightest bit of help, of vulnerability, the biting, scathing comments that fiercely hid an aching heart, it all added up to a little kid inside crying out for someone to notice, to care, to kiss it better, even though no one ever had before, even if Spencer was scared to death. 

So, when Spencer inevitably stumbled in, barely conscious, with dark bags under his eyes like bruising, nearly driving Penelope to tears with his sharp remarks, David had had enough. 

"Dave?" Aaron peeked his head into David's office, his bottom lip gnawed on and eyes looking a bit lost as he clutched a sniffling Penelope's hand. 

"Yeah, bud?" David stood immediately, a hand on each of the kids' shoulders. Penelope leaned into the comforting hand, rubbing her damp eyes with one fist as Aaron shifted uncomfortably in front of him. 

"Can you please talk to Spencer?" Aaron requested softly, his voice low as he teetered between the soft Aaron who draped his blanket around his shoulders and refused to leave it behind during dinnertimes at David's and the strong, impassible Hotch who could stare down the barrel of a gun and not flinch. David nodded immediately, ushering Aaron and Penelope into his office, because Aaron was clearly going to do more harm than good browbeating himself into a firmly, distinctly 'Hotch' shape, and Penny was mostly in tears already. 

"Why don't you sit awhile with Penelope? I've got a few of her fidget toys in one of my desk drawers, and there's Emily's heavy frog on the couch," David directed, and Aaron nodded gratefully, his twisted face relaxing slightly as he led Penelope to the comfortable couch by the hand. Ever the dutiful brother, he draped a throw blanket over her shoulders and dropped the frog in her lap before procuring a bright purple Tangle for himself and a clean one of Emily's chewable stim toys in the shape of a black bat for her. 

David carefully closed the door behind him, and stalked to Spencer's desk, where he was hunched over a file, furiously scribbling to avoid the trembling in his hands caused by excessive caffeine consumption. When David stopped, tapping his foot expectantly with his arms crossed, Spencer looked up at him with a glare dulled by the darkness of his eyebags. 

"I need to speak with you for a moment," David requested firmly. Spencer's nose scrunched like he was preparing to argue, but the older man shook his head. "I'd like to speak with you, privately, without making a scene in front of the rest of the bullpen. I don't think you'd appreciate everyone hearing what I have to say." 

Spencer's mouth snapped shut, though his glare didn't let up a bit as he stomped his feet behind David, who led the boy to Aaron's office quickly. He closed the blinds behind him, catching Emily and Derek's worried glances as he closed the door behind the scowling genius. 

"Do you know why we're having this chat, Spencer?" David leaned against Aaron’s desk, arms crossed, as he watched Spencer fidget uncomfortably in the chair across from him.

“No,” Spencer crossed his arms, fingers drumming against his own biceps.

“You were very unkind to Penelope this morning,” David reminded him sternly, and watched as Spencer’s face twisted into a regretful sorrow before returning to the furious scowl. “She needed to step into my office with Aaron, so she didn’t cry in front of our friends. It’s not very nice of you to be rude to her just because you’re struggling, Spencer.”

“I’m not one of your kids!” Spencer snapped, equal parts longing and bubbling frustration as he gripped the loose fabric of his button-down shirt in white-knuckled fists. “I’m not a baby, _Rossi_.”

“Even if you’re not one of my ‘kids,’ I still care about you, and I’m still happy to help you in any way that you need help,” David retorted, though he firmly believed that Spencer _wanted_ to be one of ‘his kids,’ if the look of longing was anything to go by. “It’s important to ask for help when you’re struggling, not take it out on innocent bystanders. Penelope is really worried about you because she can tell something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Spencer pouted, ducking his head. David could watch the story of regret, shame, need, frustration, play across his features like a film as he fidgeted under the older man’s heavy stare. “You don’t need to coddle me.”

“She’s not trying to coddle you,” David argued. “She’s trying to support her friend, trying to express in the best way that she knows how that she cares about you and that you’re not alone.”

Spencer looked genuinely regretful and sorrowful, eyes deeply sad, and David’s heart lurched in his chest. Kid needed _someone_ to care about him, and stat.

“Why don’t you come to my house after work tonight?” David suggested lightly, wheels whirring inside of his head. “The kids and I usually have a movie night on Fridays. You could join us tonight.”

“I’m not one of your kids,” Spencer scowled again, turning his nose up. “You don’t need to baby me.”

“You don’t have to be little to enjoy a movie with your friends and family,” David chided gently, and Spencer’s scowl softened. “You don’t even need to stay for the movie if you don’t want to. You can just come over, have dinner, and you and I can talk through whatever’s bothering you, and you can go home before movie night. No problemo.”

“Okay,” Spencer agreed haltingly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Just for dinner and a talk?”

“Just for dinner and a talk,” David agreed, and some of the stiffness in Spencer’s shoulders vanished. “Although, I think you owe Penelope an apology.”

Spencer nodded silently, his fingers drumming against his cheek as he stared into his lap.

“Look, Spencer,” David released his arms and leaned against the desk. He wanted so badly to wrap the kid up in a hug and tell him that it was okay to need help, to let down your guard, but Spencer would just lash out now. He sighed, and Spencer’s eyes carefully settled somewhere above David’s eyes. “I know that you’re not used to having people care about you, and I get it. It makes total sense, and I don’t blame you at all. But Penelope’s really torn up about it, and it would make her feel a lot better if you would, y’know, apologize and give her a hug or something.”

“Yeah, I will,” Spencer nodded immediately, plucking at his cuticles. David nearly made to interrupt the harmful behavior but chided himself. Spencer wasn’t one of his kids; he wasn't allowed to take care of the boy. “Where is she?”

David softened at Spencer’s voice crack and jerked his head towards his office.

“My office. Aaron’s in there with her, just so you know,” he reminded him, and Spencer nodded again, rising to his feet with his eyes still firmly fixed towards the floor.

“Thank you,” he murmured before scurrying out of the office and towards his best friend. David followed sedately behind him and leaned against the wall outside of the door, listening through the crack.

“I’m really sorry for snapping at you this morning, Penny,” Spencer whispered, and David watched as Penelope shook her head at smiled wetly at him.

“I forgive you, Spencer,” Penelope’s voice was soft, quiet, as she rubbed her eyes and looked up at him. “Can I please have a hug?”

Spencer nodded quickly, wrapping his arms around his pink-clad friend, settling his cheek on top of her soft hair. Aaron slowly leaned forward from his position settled against Penelope to carefully squeeze both of them. Spencer nodded once and detached himself from the hug with a stiff motion, clearing his throat as he fidgeted with the rumpled cardigan he wore.

“Spencer?” Penelope stopped him, her voice tentatively hopeful. “Will you come to movie night tonight?”

Aaron gave Penelope a worried look before glancing at Spencer, who was shifting his weight from foot to foot and picking at the fabric of his sweater around his elbows.

“Um, Rossi already asked me to come for dinner,” Spencer said haltingly.

“Will you stay for movie night?” Penelope asked again, hopefully. “It’s my turn, and you can pick if you stay.”

David watched as she smiled up at him and saw when Spencer’s resolve crumbled. David knew how close Spencer and Penelope were, knew how often Spencer ended up at Penelope’s apartment to share a pint of ice cream and watch episodes of _Doctor Who_ when they both were upset. She fervently opposed even _watching_ the show without Spencer present, because it was theirs, and that was sacred.

“Okay, I guess,” Spencer shrugged stiffly, and Penelope clapped her hands eagerly together.

“Thank you so much! This is going to be the best movie night ever!” she beamed, and David grinned. Her joy was infectious, he loved to see his kids happy, and she had played right into his plan unknowingly.

Spencer gave a small smile and patted her shoulder, softly excusing himself to get back to work, head so far in the clouds he didn’t even notice rushing past David in his desire to get back to his desk and put the confrontation behind him.

David slipped into the office behind him, kneeling in front of Penelope and Aaron curled together on his couch.

“Hey, my munchkins,” David smiled as both of them beamed, though Aaron’s eyes were subdued and worried. He gently cupped one elbow each, his thumb rubbing comforting circles into their arms as Aaron relaxed minutely. “Did you invite Spencer over for movie night?”

“Yeah, Papa,” Penelope nodded, leaning into Aaron’s shoulder sleepily. The older boy draped his arm protectively across her shoulder as she tucked herself against his. “Gave him my turn picking tonight.”

“That was really lovely of you, _gioia_ ,” David smiled as Penelope beamed sleepily at him from behind Emily’s frog.

“Spence’s sad, Papa,” Penelope mumbled through a yawn, and Aaron nodded uneasily.

“Spencer needs a hug,” Aaron settled his cheek against Penelope’s head, big brown eyes wide.

“Don’t worry, _passerotto_ , Spencer will get his hug,” David patted the boy’s knee gently before standing. “You two hang out in here a little while longer, yeah? Try to get back to work after lunch? No, don’t you make that guilty face at me, young man, it’s very sweet of you to sit with Penny, and it doesn’t mean you’re letting anyone down. I’ve got everything under control, little bird.”

David watched as Aaron’s anxious face melted as he snuggled in beside Penelope, who had fallen right asleep huddled against the boy. He smoothed both of their hair away from their faces and pressed gentle kisses to each forehead before standing and nearly running straight into JJ, Emily, and Derek, each carrying an incredibly worried look on their faces and arms full of paperwork and pens.

“Don’t worry, _bambini_ , I’ve got everything under control,” David gave them a reassuring smile, and their shoulders relaxed at once. JJ slipped behind David’s desk, dropping her files there and stealing one of his red pens, while Derek and Emily spread their papers across the little circular table David kept in there for this express purpose. He sighed good-naturedly and picked up his own stack to go work from Aaron’s desk, leaving his kids to flock around their sleeping siblings.

Spencer Reid kept his head down, working diligently despite his lack of coworkers, and David was struck by sorrow at how lonely the boy looked, by how easy he adapted to being completely alone.

David kept one eye on the boy the rest of the day, watching as his kids filtered out from his office eventually in one close huddle, Emily breaking formation to bring Spencer a muffin during lunch. He had thanked her, quietly, exhaustion evident in his eyes, but he hadn’t touched it. That or the bottle of water Derek dropped by his desk, or the sandwich Aaron brought shortly after that. He just kept scrawling through his files and, when he finished his shortly before lunch, he just stole from off of everyone’s desks—even going so far as to sneak into Aaron’s office and collect some of his—before they returned, spending his lunch hour with his head ducked over page after page of case files, pen never faltering as he filled them out with nary a peep the entire work day.

It was 5pm before Spencer finally stopped, laying his pen down before rolling his wrist, looking even more exhausted than before, if that was even possible. He gathered the towering stack of papers into trembling arms and carefully deposited them on Aaron’s desk. Spencer swayed unsteadily on his feet as he watched his teammates filter out of the bullpen, Emily bumping her hip into JJ’s with a bright smile, Derek ruffling Emily’s hair, and Aaron’s dimples on full display.

“C’mon, Spencer,” David watched as he lurched, clearly oblivious to the older man walking up beside him. He gave the boy a soft smile and gestured to the huddle of kids waiting for him at the door. “I’ll give you a ride?”

Spencer didn’t even argue, didn’t fight, just nodded wearily, and plodded to his desk to procure his messenger bag, hugging it to his chest with a dazed look on his face. David took pity on the boy, and slowly cupped his elbow before leading him over to his gaggle of gremlins. JJ shared a bright grin with Penelope, who clapped eagerly, nearly bouncing on her heels as she chattered eagerly with the other blonde as David led all six of them out of the BAU and into his SUV.

JJ and Emily tucked themselves into the back, JJ leaning heavily on Emily as Penelope turned around in her seat to keep talking to Emily, and Derek and Aaron clambered into the middle row behind her. That left Spencer, who was visibly half-asleep, to crawl into the passenger seat beside David.

“C’mon, Derek, put your seatbelt on, _cucciolo_ ,” David turned around to chide Derek, who was too busy laughing with Penelope to put his seatbelt on. Spencer lurched in his seat, clutching his messenger bag, at David’s tone, and his worry deepened exponentially.

“ _Okay_ , Papa,” Derek drawled cheekily, sticking his tongue out as he fastened the belt and then, off they went, all five of the kids in the backseat talking animatedly about their day and what shows were on that night and what games they’d like to bring out and anything else they could think of. David smiled as he heard their voices soften to childlike brightness, the tension melting from their words. Spencer was biting his lip though, teetering on the edge between sleep and consciousness, fingers dancing where they laid on his bag. Before they were even halfway to David’s, however, Spencer was fast asleep in the passenger seat.

David chided the kids in the backseat, who quickly dropped their tones to something marginally quieter, and he picked up on JJ’s curious words because Penelope had stopped making Derek howl with laughter.

“If-if Spence was like us, do you think he’d be bigger like Emily or littler like Penelope and Aaron?” JJ asked, leaning over the middle row seats with a cheeky smile, despite Aaron’s pink flush and Penelope’s squawk of indignancy.

“I think he’ll be big like me,” Derek puffed out his chest, which made Penelope laugh, though she quickly quieted.

“I think he’ll be a baby, even littler than Penny,” Emily’s eyes sparkled with mischief, and David cleared his throat, watching his kid’s guilty faces in the rearview mirror.

“I think that Spencer is having a rough time and needs his friends to support him and love him, not tease him for being very little or being bigger, or only ever being big,” David raised an eyebrow at JJ’s pink cheeks.

“But _if_ , Papa,” JJ protested, and Aaron fidgeted anxiously in his seat, biting his bottom lip.

“ _Stellina,_ I think you need to drop your curiosity and pick something else to wonder about, like what movie Spencer will pick,” David’s voice was stern, but still soft, and JJ ducked her head and nodded.

Quickly after though, Derek suggested that Spencer would pick to watch _Doctor Who_ , to which Penelope cheered and Emily groaned. Aaron relaxed marginally, his thumb drifting towards his mouth as he leaned heavily against the window. Spencer slept on, oblivious, his knees pulled to his chest as his knuckle pressed against his mouth. Idly, David placed his own bet that Spencer really would be _little_ , as in very, very tiny, if he ever did drop into headspace.

Luckily enough, his chatterboxes were easily distracted after that, and David pulled into his driveway before any other heavy conversations could occur and, soon enough, his girls and Derek, were scrambling over Aaron in their excitement to get into the house.

Emily and JJ were bouncing up the driveway, Derek close behind them, before Aaron had even made a move to get out of the car, his eyes glistening with uncharacteristic dampness, and David could _feel_ the tears coming on before they even appeared.

“Hey, _passerotto_ , are you tired?” David spoke softly, heart tightening in his chest when Aaron nodded, his bottom lip trembling as he rubbed his eyes. “Why don’t you come hold papa’s hand, and we’ll wake Spencer up, and you can go inside and cuddle up with your blankie?”

“’S not my blankie,” Aaron protested weakly, but nodded anyway, carefully clambering out of the car to take hold of David’s hand. David pressed a soft kiss to the boy’s feathery raven hair and opened the passenger door to carefully wake Spencer, with soft circles rubbed into his shoulders. “C’mon, Spencer, it’s movie night!”

“Oh,” Spencer breathed heavily, eyes blinking open rapidly as he stiffened and sat straight up, rubbing at his eyes. “Sorry for fallin’ asleep.”

“It’s okay, it happens,” David smiled as Spencer carefully extracted himself from the car, his shoulder bumping into David’s every so often as the older man led two sleepy boys into the house, where JJ, Emily, and Penelope were already playing with a couple of dolls (and a dinosaur for Emily), while Derek had dumped out his Lego collection on the carpet beside them, laying on his stomach and kicking his feet in the air, humming to himself, as he carefully followed the directions.

“Feel free to make yourself at home,” David gestured to Spencer, who suddenly looked awkward and out of place. Aaron released David’s hand immediately though, fast-tracking to the soft cream blanket with the ivory satin edges draped over the back of the recliner. The boy eagerly clambered into the chair, pulling the blanket over his shoulders. “Kiddos, do you want to go change into something comfy?”

Derek stood at once, beaming, as he carefully took Spencer’s elbow, looking excited.

“Do you want to come see our rooms, Spencer?” Derek’s dark eyes were soft and excited, a far cry from the guilt-ridden boy clutching the first stuffed animal David had ever given him.

“Uh, sure,” Spencer nodded, and JJ, Emily, and Penelope swapped excited looks as they bundled together around the two boys. Aaron watched with half-lidded eyes as the other kids stamped up the stairs to the kids’ rooms.

“Want some help getting into comfy jammies, Aaron?” David whispered softly, running careful fingers over Aaron’s feathery hair as the boy nodded. With a soft smile and a kiss pressed to his temple, David carefully lifted Aaron into his arms, his blanket clutched in his fists, and took him to the master bedroom in search of a pair of pajamas David knew to be there.

Spencer was a little overwhelmed.

A bit of an understatement, really.

He was full of roiling emotions he didn’t know how to name, but his friends were _so_ excited around him, and he certainly wasn’t grossed out or disgusted by their childlike behavior, just the opposite in fact. But, certainly, wasn’t that the problem? That he wasn’t disgusted, and he was actually quite envious at how easy it was for them all to let go, to relax, to feel small and trust that Rossi was really there to keep them safe and love them?

Spencer tried to shake whatever the feelings he was experiencing away in favor of paying attention to the bedroom that Penelope had insisted they visit first, much to Derek’s disappointment.

“This is mine and JJ’s room!” Penelope beamed, bouncing on her feet.

The room was really pretty, all soft blue walls with clouds painted on, and white wooden bunkbeds, the one on top neatly made with bright blue bedding, a pair of rabbit ears visible over the bars on the side, the bottom bunk overflowing with stuffed animals and pink. Across the room was a dollhouse and a pair of toy trunks carefully labelled with Penelope and JJ across their lids. There was even a pair of beanbags in the corner, blankets stacked beside them, just waiting for the two little girls to throw themselves into them and curl up.

“It’s very nice, Penny,” Spencer managed over the thick, cloying sense of what? _Jealousy_? He pushed the thought away, feeling ridiculous, and a little bit stupid. But Penelope grinned and elbowed Emily, who perked up immediately.

“Come see mine and Derek’s!” Emily grinned, and Derek bounced on his heels, his arm looped carefully through Spencer’s.

“Ours is the best!” Derek grinned, nearly dragging Spencer with him and Penelope and JJ followed close behind.

Emily ahead of them pushed open a door with a little wooden sign on it with a red dragon and a grey dinosaur labelled ‘Emily and Derek’s Room’ in neat red letters on a black background. Emily lurched into the middle of the room, scooping up a stuffed T-rex to show him as Derek dove for a big monster truck. This room was put together too, the walls a cranberry color except for one with a big black volcano erupting, the window smack dab in the middle of it. They had bunk beds too, but made of wrought-iron, the top bunk piled high with blankets in differing shades of black and grey, a single pink stuffed animal hidden amongst the pillows, while the bottom with much neater, though the sheets were messily pulled back up, a brown stuffed dog sitting beside the pillow. Derek stood in front of a towering race track, and Emily had plucked her dinosaur from the open toy trunk labelled ‘Emily,’ with a matching one beside it with Derek’s name on it.

“Your room is really cool too!” Spencer mustered up a smile, stroking the head of Emily’s dinosaur when she brought it for inspection, turning the monster truck over in his hands when Derek showed him too. “I like your dinosaur, even if he’s not quite anatomically accurate, and your monster truck is neat. Is it to scale?”

Derek shrugged, but both kids still had a smile on their face as they ushered Spencer to the next room down the hallway.

“This is Aaron’s room,” JJ said by way of explanation, pushing open the door to present to Spencer the coziest room he’d ever seen.

This one was lacking in bunk beds but did have two short ones on opposite sides of the huge room, made of warm brown wood with little half walls on the sides like toddler beds. The far bed was mussed, the dark green quilt pulled up imperfectly, with a brown spotted dog with long fur tucked under the blanket. This room had a long, wide, wooden dresser against one wall with a thick pad on top of it, the drawers closed haphazardly, exposing brightly patterned shirts. The walls were stunning, and Spencer couldn’t imagine how long it had taken to paint the gorgeous replica of a forest, all different shades of green, along the walls and, when Spencer looked up, glittering stars across the ceiling. Tucked into a far corner though, was another beanbag surrounded by stuffed animals and blankets, a little wooden trunk tucked next to it with ‘Aaron’ written on it in graceful white letters. Shocking, though, was the pacifier placed atop the trunk like it belonged there; light blue with ‘mute button’ written on it.

He hadn’t realized he was staring, except that Penelope had brought him out of his stupor, anxiously shifting from foot to foot in front of him, not meeting his eyes.

“Aaron’s really little,” she said, her voice uncharacteristically guarded. “He gets really stressed and being really little makes him feel better. It’s not nice to make fun of how little someone is.”

“I don’t mind,” Spencer found himself saying, his stomach twisted up inside his abdomen. “Whatever makes Aaron happy. His room is really pretty. I like his stars.”

“I like ours better,” Emily piped up, which broke the thick stillness and Penelope and JJ protested, claiming their clouds were cooler than Emily and Derek’s volcano. The girls rushed off then, laughing and talking about a game of Monopoly, though Derek hung back with Spencer, eyeing the boy with startlingly clear, dark eyes.

“Papa let us make our rooms look like how we wanted,” Derek explained quietly, eyes flickering around Aaron’s forest. “Papa takes good care of us. He loves us.”

“I’m really glad your papa loves you,” Spencer choked out, his throat tightening. “You deserve to be loved and looked after and be happy.”

Derek’s eyebrows furrowed, his mouth open like he was going to respond, but he was interrupted by Rossi calling up the stairs.

“Derek? Spencer? Will you please come help pick out dinner?” Rossi was calling, and Derek’s face brightened immediately, leaning toward Spencer with a mischievous grin.

“Emmy, Penny, JJ, and I have been trying to convince papa to have pizza for dinner for _weeks_ , but he keeps saying that we eat enough junk during the week. Wanna help us convince him? Bet he’ll say yes to you, Spence!” Derek whispered conspiratorially, and Spencer’s lips quirked into a smile, something warm in his stomach.

“Sure!” Spencer agreed readily, and the other boy beamed, leading him down the stairs by the hand.

Spencer didn’t even notice how big he was smiling.

He wasn’t exactly expecting to see his boss, the usually stoic and hard-headed Hotch, in an oversized crewneck sweater with a large puppy dog on the front, black sweatpants with blue fuzzy socks, laid out on the carpet in front of a fireplace, a yellow pacifier bobbing in his mouth attached to his sweater with a yellow clip patterned with honeybees.

Spencer stopped abruptly at the bottom of the stairs, Derek releasing his hand in his excitement, as the other boy stared.

Conflicting emotions he couldn’t name warred in his stomach, his throat tightening, as Aaron glanced up at him and went pale, spitting the soother out of his mouth with a whimper.

“Aaron?” David’s voice was concerned, wary, from the kitchen as Aaron lunged for the satin-edged cream blanket, bundling it to his chest with an anxious look. Emily frowned and kneeled on the floor next to him, her hands careful and gentle on his shoulders as she tried to comfort him.

“It’s okay, Ronnie, it’s just Spencer,” Emily cooed to him, patting his back as he insistently pressed the blanket to his face. “He doesn’t care if you want your paci, nobody does. No one’s gonna take it away or make you feel bad. It’s not a big deal, I promise.”

Spencer found himself kneeling beside Aaron, he didn’t remember deciding to do that, just moving, and carefully patted the boy’s shoulder.

“Really, I don’t mind, it’s okay,” Spencer murmured, watching Aaron’s fingers flex in his blanket with some mixture of jealousy and curiosity. “I’m not going to make fun of you.”

“Not a big deal, not a big deal,” Aaron’s eyes clenched shut as he let out a shuddering breath, his soft, childish voice muffled by the blanket. Spencer could hear the pacifier slip back into his mouth, could hear the muffled suckles, but he found it was true, he really _didn’t_ mind.

Emily pulled away with a careful pat on Aaron’s head and slowly rejoined JJ and Penelope, who were pretending not to be watching anxiously, dolls clutched in their hands. Derek walked by carefully, eyes tracking Spencer’s careful hands and where they touched Aaron’s trembling back. He could even feel Rossi’s eyes, drilling a hole in the back of his head, but Spencer just wanted Aaron to be okay, to smile again.

“It’s okay, really, I promise,” Spencer tried again, and was shocked with Aaron blinked open at him a few times, furrowed his eyebrows together, and threw his arms around Spencer’s shoulders, dragging the blanket along with him.

The other boy was a bit stunned, his heart beating furiously in his chest as he accepted the hug, wrapping his arms around his _boss_ ’s shoulders as he pressed his face into Spencer’s shoulder and sucked furiously on the soother in his mouth. Spencer found himself leaning forward to press his cheek against Aaron’s shoulder and closing his eyes, not even blinking when the boy pulled away just enough to smooth the blanket over both his and Spencer’s shoulders. Aaron smelled like a softened, warmer version of how he usually did, the comfortable sandalwood and leather that he always smelled like topped with gentle honey and baby powder, and Spencer found it comforting in a way he wasn’t really expecting it to be.

He found _all_ of this more comforting than he expected it to be.

Aaron pulled away after a second, the fervent bobbing of the pacifier in his mouth slowing to a calmer pace and offered Spencer a shy smile from behind both the soother in his mouth and the blanket balled up in fists in front of his face to hide it.

“It’s okay!” Spencer smiled and poked Aaron’s cheek where his dimple was underneath the blanket, causing the boy to giggle in a way Spencer had never heard before. “You don’t need to hide, it’s alright! We’re friends.”

“Friends!” Aaron echoed, draping the blanket around his shoulders instead, fisted material still clutched just underneath his chin like he was prepared to hide if necessary. But Spencer smiled, ignoring the nagging jealousy in his stomach, and poked the boy’s dimple again, earning another beaming grin from behind his pacifier.

“Do you want to come play with us, Spencer?” Penelope asked, uncharacteristically shy as she held a dinosaur in her hands as an offering.

“Sure!” Spencer agreed, trying to squash the rising pit of something heavy in his stomach. “Are you coming to play too, Aaron?”

Aaron nodded slowly, and took Spencer’s hand when he offered it, dragging the blanket behind him. Penelope, JJ, Emily, and Derek were crowded in a circle in various states of laying down, a collection of dolls, dinosaurs, cars, trucks, and stuffed animals in a pile in front of them. At Penelope’s urging, Spencer laid on his stomach, Aaron following suit to lay shoulder to shoulder with him, the cream blanket draped over both of their backs.

“Spencer, do you want a dinosaur or a car or a truck?” JJ offered, pushing a few of them towards the newcomer. Spencer tilted his head appraisingly because he didn’t know what the right answer was, but Aaron nudged his shoulder, pointing to a black and white dog replica hidden in the pile, his eyebrows raised in a question.

“Thanks, Aaron!” Spencer nodded and gently bumped the boy’s shoulder back. Aaron hummed pleasantly, and Spencer found himself mimicking the hum, much to his chagrin. The other kids didn’t mind though, Penelope just passed the dog to him and a doll with a sparkly purple dress and cornrows to Aaron without comment. Derek began making engine noises, driving his monster truck over Emily’s shoulders, which made her laugh and return the treatment with a mimicked growl of a dinosaur stomping on him. JJ and Penelope were making up some sort of love story with two Barbies, one with a pink tuxedo and the other in a bikini. Spencer didn’t quite understand what the point was, or exactly how he was supposed to play with this figurine, but Aaron extended the arm of his doll, making the girl’s plastic hand touch the dog’s head. Spencer awkwardly mimicked a barking sound, which made Aaron hum happily again, so he kept trying to go increasingly silly things to make the other boy make that sound until he realized he was doing it too.

Spencer didn’t remember the last time he’d _played_ , which said something he didn’t really want to think about.

He _wasn’t_ thinking much, which shocked him, until it had gotten significantly darker outside and Rossi was calling, saying that there was pizza ready to be eaten. He supposed that Derek had won the debate without him.

A glance at his wristwatch as the kids around him clambered to their feet, abandoning their toys, told him it had been thirty minutes of him laying on the floor with the toy dog in his hands, making Aaron make happy little noises.

“C’mon then, _passerotto_ , I imagine you’re hungry,” Rossi knelt beside Aaron, who scrunched up his eyebrows, and slid one hand along the ground closer to Spencer, his pointer finger tapping on the carpet. “Spencer’s coming too, Aaron, don’t worry.”

Aaron brightened at that, letting his blanket fall from his hands and the pacifier fall from his mouth to dangle from the clip on his sweater as Rossi lifted him to his feet. He turned to Spencer then, a shy smile on his face, offering him a hand.

Spencer felt a bit silly, really, but Aaron was looking at him so hopefully, his fingers wiggling like he was trying to will him to hold his hand, so he did. He pulled himself to his feet and let Aaron lead him by the hand into the kitchen where a long table with a gaggle of laughing kids surrounded a pair of open pizza boxes.

“Thank you for pizza, papa!” JJ bounced in her seat, a smear of pizza sauce already on her cheek. Rossi laughed and dropped a slice onto Aaron's plate.

“You’re welcome, _bambini_ ,” Rossi replied easily, patting Derek affectionately on the back and ruffling Aaron’s hair. Spencer took a seat between Aaron and Penelope, feeling a bit out of place, before Penelope was carefully slipping two slices of pizza with extra crispy mushrooms on top onto his plate.

“Papa remembered you like fresh mushrooms extra crispy,” Penelope beamed and went back to her conversation with JJ and Emily about what movie they should watch.

Somehow, it was the most pleasant meal Spencer had ever partaken in, full of more laughing and more smiling and jokes than he’d even expected, though Aaron and Penelope both ended up with a surprising amount of pizza sauce smeared across their mouths, and JJ managed to get some in her hair.

“Oh, _bambini_ , what am I going to do with you? You’re going to need baths tonight,” Rossi sighed, shaking his head and, Spencer’s heart sped up in his chest as he anxiously watched Rossi’s face, frightened that he was _mad_ at the kids sitting at the table.

“That’s okay, papa!” JJ beamed, exchanging an excited look with Emily and Penelope. “We can play with our ducks in the bath.”

When they didn’t look frightened in the slightest, Spencer relaxed marginally. Aaron beside him must have noticed, because he gently touched Spencer’s tightened fist, weaseling a single finger in between his curled fingers and palm, and he relaxed his hand so as to avoid squeezing the other boy’s finger too much.

“Go on then, you ragamuffins,” Rossi grinned at the sauce-smeared kids. “You go pick out your pajamas and I’ll be up to help you get ready for movie night in a couple minutes.”

“Spencer?” Aaron whipped his head around to look at Rossi, whose face softened immediately, cupping the boy’s face in his hands to drop a kiss on his forehead.

“I need to speak with Spencer for a couple minutes, _passerotto_ , but then I’ll show him the bathroom and get him some pajamas if he wants to stay, don’t worry,” Rossi cooed softly, and Aaron smiled, hugging the older man tightly before he hopped out of his seat. “Please refrain from touching your blankie before your hands are clean, Aaron! We don’t want a repeat marinara experience!”

“Yes, papa!” Aaron chirped back, fingers trailing along the wooden railing as he headed, presumably, to his bedroom on the second floor.

Spencer watched him go until he was out of sight, and then he realized Rossi’s dark eyes were on him with a gulp. He fidgeted in his seat, the man’s eyes heavy on his shoulders, until Rossi spoke.

“I saw you playing on the carpet with the kids,” Rossi spoke slowly, and Spencer’s heart began to race again in earnest. Perhaps he was going to get in trouble for playing with them, perhaps he was going to be made fun of for being such a baby, perhaps, perhaps, _perhaps_. His mind raced through all sorts of uncomfortable situations, until Rossi continued. “Did you like it?”

“They, uh, they asked me to play with them,” Spencer defended immediately, frowning at his lap as he picked pieces of fuzz off his black chinos.

“That’s okay, Spencer. They were really excited to hear you were coming over,” Rossi continued, and Spencer tried to name the tone of voice he was speaking in. It was quiet, purposely low, gentle, even. Maybe fondness? Caution? “Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?”

“No,” Spencer denied at once. “I’m fine.”

“Spencer,” Rossi sighed heavily, his eyes worried. “I can see something’s wrong. I know you need to acknowledge it so you can get support and work through it.”

“I’ve never needed _support_ before, and I don’t need it now,” Spencer sniffed, his chest tightening. How many times had he _wished_ someone would notice he wasn’t okay, that he was hurting and offered to help? How often had he prayed for someone to hug him and kiss him and tell him he’d be alright as a kid? How often did he do it _now_ , as an adult?

“Spencer, we both know that’s not true,” Rossi countered, his mouth a firm line. “Let me tell you what I know. I know that you’re brilliant, truly remarkable. I know that you know that because you’ve heard it every day of your whole life. I know that, because of how intelligent you are, people expected you to grow up fast because, well, you talked like a little adult even when you were a little kid, so they treated you like an adult and had adult expectations for you.

“And I know your dad was a mean sonofabitch, and he hurt you, and he punished you for being someone that wasn’t who he wanted you to be. I know he left you alone with your mom and you truly became the adult of the house. I know you shouldered every responsibility of a man much older than you were and took care of your mom and somehow managed to get yourself out of gritty Las Vegas all the way to Caltech, which I am very proud of, by the way. I know that you worked your ass off while you were at college, I know you worked your ass off at the Bureau, I know that people let you down again and again and again and you learned that the only person you could trust was yourself, the only person who couldn’t leave you was yourself. I know that you never learned to express or handle emotions in a constructive way, so you smash every little feeling you’ve ever had into a little box and shove it all the way in the back so you don’t have to think about what you really want or what you really need, so you can continue to work your ass off until you physically can’t anymore. And I know that this all weighs on you, all the time. You don’t relax, you don’t take care of yourself, you see yourself as a cog in a machine and think, if the cog doesn’t work, how useful is it then?

“I’m telling you, _piccolino_ , that I’m seeing _you_. Not a cog in the machine, not the brilliant little genius who’s lightyears ahead of me in brains, I see the little boy whose dad hit him for being autistic, for being more interested in books than baseball, for everything he couldn’t control, I see the little boy who watched his mother wither away and has a heart so big, he loves her anyway, I see the little boy running himself ragged to keep himself alive, I see the little boy who cried for someone to come and make it all better, and I’m telling you that I can do that. I’m trying to show you that, here, I see the little kid that’s hurting inside all of you guys, and I try to kiss it all better, because that’s what dads were supposed to do. And your dads all let you down, so I’m trying to be the dad you should have had.”

Spencer didn’t realize he was crying until Rossi knelt in front of him, hands slowly coming up to cup his face and brush his tears away with gentle calloused hands. Spencer hiccupped when he met Rossi’s gentle eyes and saw his warm smile, and nearly started crying again.

He felt like the man had destroyed every piece of armor Spencer had ever erected around his heart and it was all falling down around him with every tear that dripped down his face in a never-ending torrent of wailing emotions.

“Oh, _piccolino_ ,” Rossi sighed softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re right though,” Spencer found himself saying through gasping hiccups and tears, fiercely rubbing his palms into his eyes. “I’m so tired. I can’t remember the last time I felt relaxed or like my mind was quiet or like somebody cared.”

“I know, _caro_ , it hurts, doesn’t it?” Rossi rubbed his thumbs against Spencer’s cheeks soothingly, and he found himself leaning into the touch, his eyes falling shut against the falling tears. “I’d like to offer you the same thing as the rest of the kids; a chance to let your guard down and be taken care of. Would you like that, _piccolino_? A chance to be a little boy again with a papa who cares?”

Spencer didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t want to _say it_ , he didn’t want everyone to see his exposed vulnerability and prod at it with hatred and violence. He didn’t want to put his heart in somebody else’s hands and trust them not to crush it; it was too much, and everyone who had even held a portion of it before had broken it.

“I know it’s scary, _caro_ ,” Rossi murmured, one hand stroking Spencer’s hair. He found himself clutching the older man’s wrist, pressing his face eagerly into Rossi’s gentle hands. “The other kids were scared too, terrified. Emily didn’t start to trust me until he woke up in the middle of the night after a nightmare and I held her until she fell asleep. Aaron needed to trust that I’d always open my door and my arms to him when he needed affection and safety and to _let go_ , no matter how much he had to let go of. The others all have stories like that too, it’s not easy, but it helps them so much. They’re so much happier, being able to run around and play like kids again and not have to worry about expectations for a little while.”

“Want it _too_ ,” Spencer whispered, feeling exposed and vulnerable and _so little,_ his eyes clenched firmly shut against the expected violence, expected humiliation.

“That’s okay, _piccolino_ ,” Rossi gently tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “We can start small, alright? Baby steps, pun intended.” Spencer flushed fiercely as Rossi chuckled. “C’mon, we can go find some pajamas from one of the kids and you can hop in the shower and spend the night?”

“Okay,” Spencer mumbled shyly, tearing one eye open to find Ro— _David_ , he could call him David, he figured, offering a hand to him. Spencer stood and nervously slipped his hand into David’s, feeling remarkably small in the man’s shadow.

“Come on, _piccolino_ , we can talk more tomorrow. I can see how sleepy you are after all that crying,” David hummed a little tune as he guided Spencer up the steps slowly and carefully. Spencer could hear excited voices and sound effects from up the stairs and found himself anxious that the others would make fun of him. They all liked much more ‘big kid’ things than he found himself daydreaming about, and fear wrapped itself around his throat and made it difficult to breathe.

“Spencer, it’s all okay here, I promise,” David reassured him, likely seeing his stricken face. “Sometimes Derek needs pull-ups, sometimes Emily has an accident because she had a bad dream, sometimes Aaron is so little, he needs help with a lot of things. It’s all okay here, alright?”

Spencer nodded slowly, apprehension still thick in his stomach, but he continued to follow David up the stairs until he stopped beside JJ and Penelope’s room. They were playing with the dollhouse, but Emily had brought in a large toy dinosaur and was pretending to eat the dolls.

“ _Bambine,_ are you having baths tonight?” David asked cheerfully, squeezing Spencer’s hand tightly.

“Papa, JJ and I want to take baths all by ourselves!” Penelope cheered and David nodded.

“Emmy, you’re showering tonight?” David clarified, to which Emily nodded. “Alright, movie night is in T-minus thirty minutes, _bambine_ , so please make it snappy.”

David moved onto the next room after a chorus of, “Yes, papa!”

“Do you know if you want to shower alone tonight or have a bath? I think Aaron will probably be taking a bath tonight,” David asked softly, pausing outside of Derek and Emily’s room to gently card through Spencer’s hair.

The question twisted his stomach, and he wondered if there was a right answer, if it was a burden to ask to be helped in the bath. If it was just _too_ babyish.

But, if Aaron were going to do it, it couldn’t be so bad, could it?

“Let’s go see if Derek’s got a plan, and then we can revisit this, okay?” David squeezed Spencer’s hand, and he realized he had begun gnawing on the crooked knuckle of his free hand. He tore it from his mouth with a whimper, but David hummed and squeezed his hand again. “Remember, whatever you want is _okay_ here.”

David rapped a knuckle on Derek’s bedroom door, and opened it after Derek called, “Come in, papa!”

“I see you’re ahead of your sisters, _cucciolo_ ,” David beamed at a pajama-ed Derek. He was splayed out on his stomach in front of a pile of monster trucks, clad in a pair of dark blue sweatpants, yellow fuzzy socks, and a tucked-in shirt with funny snaps on the shoulders patterned with police cars. Spencer found a reoccurring theme with Derek, and he also found himself sucking on his knuckle again, much to his immense embarrassment.

“Yup, papa!” Derek flashed a smile to the man, before ducking his head back down to the cars. “Do you want to play cars, Spencer?”

“Spencer still has to shower and put on pajamas, Derek, but maybe during the movie,” David diverted before Spencer could open his mouth. He leaned a little into David’s side, much to his surprise, when Derek frowned. “I think you’re missing something about this bedtime routine, _cucciolo_.”

“ _No_ , papa,” Derek complained, scowling at David, who stuck his tongue out back. “Don’t _want_ the pull-ups.”

“Derek, do you want a repeat performance of last time movie night rolled around and you were so engrossed in _Frozen_ that you forgot to use the bathroom?” David parried expertly, his arms crossed, and Derek shook his head with a pout. “Go put on your pull-ups, _cucciolo_ , and maybe you’ll beat Emily and JJ to the M&Ms.”

“Okay, papa!” Derek was all smiles again, rushing off to the attached bathroom Spencer hadn’t noticed before.

David draped a warm arm over Spencer’s shoulders as he led the boy to the last bedroom, which found Aaron similarly splayed across the floor, but with a pacifier bobbing in his mouth, the brown and white stuffed dog from the bed clutched under his arm, and a careful finger tracing the words in a picture book. When Aaron spotted David and Spencer, he beamed so brightly that his pacifier fell out of his mouth and brushed against the book.

“Papa! Bath time?” Aaron hummed, clutching the dog to his chest as he sat up.

“Mhm, bath time, _passerotto_ ,” David ruffled the boy’s hair. Spencer awkwardly stood by the doorframe until David turned and beckoned him forward with a finger. “Come here, you! Aaron, do you want to help Spencer find some pajamas for his sleepover?”

“Spencer sleepover!” Aaron cheered, bouncing to his feet, dog in tow. He pulled a series of drawers out from the dresser, exposing soft pants and a haphazard stack of socks along with the colorful shirts from before. He plucked two pairs of dark purple joggers, two pairs of patterned socks, and a light blue shirt he soon realized was an adult-sized snap-crotch onesie with yellow paw prints from the drawers before he turned to Spencer with a raised eyebrow. “Sweater?”

“Um, whatever you pick is okay,” Spencer flushed bright pink under David’s heavy stare, but Aaron hummed again and rummaged deep into the drawer to procure a purple onesie with white stars and moons on it. He stacked all of the clothes atop the pad on the dresser and carefully unfolded the socks, swapping one sock with the other until he held two mis-matched pairs in proud hands. Aaron then sorted the clothes into two stacks and pressed the starry onesie stack into Spencer’s anxious hands.

“We match!” Aaron beamed, touching the purple pants Spencer held in his arms, then the ones he himself held.

“We match,” Spencer smiled, warmth welling up in his chest at Aaron’s smiling face. He’d never seen him so relaxed, so openly smiling, so happy, and he wondered if it’d work for him too.

“Mismatch socks, too,” Aaron pointed out, tapping the socks in Spencer’s hand. Spencer beamed at him, glancing at the socks in his hand. He was pleasantly surprised to find socks that coordinated to the onesies, one purple with pink pawprints, the other light blue with yellow stars.

“Lucky socks,” Spencer bobbed his head, a shy smile on his face. “Lots of matching!”

“C’mon, then, _caros_ ,” David hummed pleasantly, a soft smile on his face. “Aaron, do you want to get your octopus and shark for the bath?”

With an affirmative hum, Aaron dashed into the bathroom, deposited his stack of clothes, and rushed off down the hallway, presumably in search of the aforementioned octopus and shark.

“I’m going to help Aaron take a bath,” David explained quietly, and Spencer was left clutching the stack of clothes like a security blanket, a nervous feeling strong in his throat. He wished somewhere in the back of his mind for Aaron to return, to come stay by his side so that he wasn’t so unsure. “I can either show you to the guest bathroom, or you can join Aaron in the tub. But, either way, I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.”

Before Spencer could answer though, his bottom lip bitten raw in his uncertainty, Aaron returned, a large octopus and a grey shark in his arms and an excited smile on his face.

“Spencer! Bath time!” Aaron bounced on his heels, shifting the octopus into the crook of his elbow so he could grip onto Spencer’s sleeve. Spencer found himself leaning toward the other boy, searching for some sort of stability in his sea of uncertainty, though his eyes never left the edge of the warm grey carpet underneath Aaron’s bed.

“ _Passerotto_ , Spencer might not want to take a bath tonight,” David chided, his voice soft, but Aaron frowned anyway, looking down at the bath toys in his arms. “And we have to respect his boundaries, because we want him to feel safe and cared for here.”

“It’s okay,” Spencer found himself saying, glancing up at David’s face before returning his gaze to the carpet, biting his lip again. “Um, I can take a bath with Aaron? Can I—can I please get in first? I, uh, I don’t want anyone to, um, to see me.”

“That’s fine, _piccolino_ , no big deal at all,” David hummed again, his smile soft and vaguely proud as he ushered both boys into the bathrooms, Aaron humming excitedly as he bounced, nearly dragging Spencer alongside him. “I’ll turn on the water and add some bubbles, and Aaron and I can wait outside until you’re ready, okay?”

Spencer took a deep breath, trying to calm the roiling nerves in his stomach, but Aaron beamed happily at him and squeezed his hand, so Spencer nodded. David knelt beside the big tub as Aaron deposited the bath toys inside it, bartering with the man for an extra capful of bubble bath. Spencer watched as Aaron, his face so open and carefree, hummed an excited noise low in his throat and patted the thick foaming bubbles that David was stirring with one hand before he stood up and wiped his hands on his pants.

“Aaron and I are going to go do a round and see if the others are working on getting ready, okay? We’ll knock and make sure you’re ready before we come back in,” David assured him before scooping Aaron into his arms with surprising ease, a faint disappointed pout on his face as David cooed at him and carried him from the bathroom. Spencer was left alone with shaking hands and a large collection of emotions he hadn’t realized he’d been feeling, staring into the bubbles of an extremely oversized bathtub.

He wasn’t thinking clearly, too zoned out, focused on the rainbow reflections on the bubbles as Spencer stripped out of his clothes and left them in a haphazard pile on the floor beside the toilet tucked into a little alcove in the bathroom. He slipped into warm water and pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his chin there. He found himself fighting tears, hiccups rattling his narrow shoulders, as Spencer tried to focus on the bathroom instead of the tightening of his throat.

 _Black slate tile floor, grey stone walls, black double sink with a silver facet_ , oh god, what was he _doing_? Dav— _Rossi_ was just going to come back and tell him that he had his hands full with _his kids_ , because Derek and Emily and JJ were so much more fun to be around, that he only had room to coddle Aaron, who he absolutely adored, that there was _no room_ for Spencer, that it was a mistake.

“Spencer’s sad?” Aaron asked quietly from behind a yellow pacifier patterned with a bee, gentle hands slowly cupping his cheeks. Aaron rubbed away the tears Spencer hadn’t noticed falling down his cheeks with a concerned, soft look, before looking over his shoulder. “Papa, Spencer’s sad!”

Spencer hadn’t noticed he’d begun crying in earnest, hadn’t noticed Aaron returning, hadn’t even noticed the boy kneel beside the bath tub until he was touching him, and it just made him feel even more vulnerable, even more _little_ , and he cried harder into his knees with huge wracking sobs.

“Hey, _piccolino_ , what’s wrong?” David appeared at once, one elbow braced against the edge of the tub, the other tucking Aaron close against his side, the boy’s head immediately leaning against David’s shoulder as his pacifier began bobbing fervently. Spencer felt awful for worrying Aaron so much when he was supposed to be relaxing, he felt guilty for ruining it for him, and he regretted agreeing to come over to David’s in the first place, because they’d just want to send him home anyway. “Hey, it’s okay to cry, but what’s gotten you so upset, _caro_? Pa— _I’m_ here to help you.”

David carefully extended an arm to gently card through Spencer’s still-dry hair, and he couldn’t help but lean into it, wanting to brand the feeling of calloused fingers carefully running through his hair into his memory for when he was inevitably banished back to the dark, cold, lonely apartment he called ‘home.’

“Don’ wanna _go_ ,” Spencer wheezed through his cries, and Aaron looked anxiously at David’s face, before turning back to Spencer with eyebrows scrunched together.

“No one’s going to make you go, _piccolino_ ,” David purposely exaggerated his breaths until Spencer was instinctively following them. “We _want_ you here, we don’t want you to go ever, unless that’s what would make you happy and safe, right Aaron?”

“Mhm, papa,” Aaron tucked himself underneath David’s chin again, big brown eyes worried where they peered at Spencer. “Wan’ ‘Pencer to stay with us.”

“Don’ wanna be a _bother_ ,” Spencer heaved, rubbing his cheek anxiously with the knuckles on one hand. “Don’ wanna be _annoying_.”

“Oh, you’re not annoying, _caro_ ,” David hummed a gentle little tune, rubbing Spencer’s temple with his thumb where he’d unknowingly started forming a headache. “It’s safe here, for everybody to get what they need, no matter what it is. If you need to be really little, that’s just fine. The others would be ecstatic to have another little brother. If you just need a little bit, Emily and Derek would be so happy to have another mischief-maker in their midst. To me, I don’t mind what you need, I just want to give you a safe, happy place to let it all go, if that’s stress, worry, tears, whatever you need.”

“Promise you won’t send me away?” Spencer gnawed on his bottom lip, flashing a glance up at David’s sincere face.

“I pinky swear, sweet boy,” David hummed, and Spencer let his head fall into his palm. “C’mon, lovebug, let’s get both of you washed up really quick so we can get downstairs and convince Derek to relinquish _Doc McStuffins_.”

Aaron carefully smiled again as Spencer nodded, too wrung out to try to hide how nice it sounded to be wrapped up in some nice warm blankets, tucked in between David and Aaron.

David helped Aaron strip with clinical efficiency, though Spencer flushed pink and averted his eyes when the feather-haired boy splashed into the water, already humming and dunking the shark in and out of the water with soft squeaks, even going so far as to bump the nose of the shark against Spencer’s shin with a gentle little growl. David was singing a little song in Italian under his breath as he soaped up a wash cloth and carefully began washing Aaron’s shoulders.

“Go on, you’re more than welcome to play too, Spencer,” David raised an amused eyebrow at Spencer’s longing look to the lonely octopus. Under Aaron’s encouraging eyes, he carefully pulled the octopus closer to him through the bubbles, relaxing his legs to extend the octopus’s tentacle to poke at Aaron’s elbow.

With a happy squeak, Aaron bumped the shark back into the octopus in Spencer’s hand and, pretty soon, it devolved into Aaron trying to splash as high as he could with the shark, Spencer doing the same, albeit with a bit more reservation, both boys giggling as David tried to work in some shampoo and conditioner into both of their hair. He even gave little splashes too, laughing, when one of the boys’ miniature tidal waves caught the sleeve of his shirt. David had finally managed to distract Aaron long enough to properly rinse the conditioner out of Spencer’s hair before he even realized how nice it was to have gentle hands lathering soap into his hair, washing behind his ears and in between each finger and toe. Spencer flushed pink with the realization, but Aaron’s bright, shining eyes and lopsided smile were more than reassuring enough to convince him it was more important to squeeze the excess water from a washcloth over Aaron's shark with an, _“ahh! It's rainin’!”_ than to feel self-conscious in that moment.

“My good boys,” David chuckled, leaning back on his haunches with a soft smile on his face. Spencer couldn’t help but echo his joy, the corners of his lips nervously pulling up in a shy smile too, Aaron humming affectionately at his side. “C’mon, _caros,_ time for pajamas and movie night.”

David quickly scooped Aaron from the bathtub, barely casting a second glance at the boy’s nakedness before he was wrapped in a very large yellow terrycloth towel with a hood topped with a duck’s beak.

“C’mere, _piccolino_ ,” David reached for Spencer as well, and the boy reached up to clasp his hands when Spencer suddenly realized he was going to step out of the frothy bath and stand completely naked in front of the older man. But David was already helping him out, and Spencer quickly found a white terrycloth towel engulfing him, warm and soft, with a hood draped over his damp curls before he could even be embarrassed. “Good boy, Aaron! Thank you for grabbing your comb!”

David turned to Aaron momentarily, combing the dark, slick hair out of his bright eyes before kneeling to the floor to help him pull up funny-looking thick underwear and his socks, and David was turning back to Spencer before he really put it together that it was a pull-up. But he couldn’t think too much about it, didn’t really want to, because David was kneeling in front of _him_ , humming as he dried off Spencer’s feet and helped him slip on his socks.

“Spence!” Aaron grinned, distracting him with the stream of water upended from the shark’s mouth into the sink as David toweled off his hair and helped him into the onesie and joggers Aaron had picked out before he really noticed. Aaron beamed at him when it was his turn, no shame as David blew a raspberry on his tummy, laughing as he was dressed to match.

“C’mon, _bambinos!_ Movie night!” David grinned and Aaron cheered, rocketing out of the bathroom, and body slamming his beanbag stuffed animal corner. Spencer realized, suddenly, that he’d been too busy following Aaron’s lead and turned back to grab his clothes.

“Leave it, _piccolino_ ,” David caught his elbow with a soft hand. “Do you want a blanket to get comfy on the couch? Aaron has quite a few I’m sure he’d be happy to let you use.”

“They’re _his_ ,” Spencer protested quietly, fidgeting awkwardly with the drawstrings of the joggers, eyes trained on Aaron rummaging through the pile of stuffed animals and blankets in search of something.

“Aaron’s got plenty to share, he won’t notice if you borrow any blanket other than his _blankie_ , I promise. Just until we get you things of your own,” David hummed, smoothing over Spencer’s bouncing curls. He hummed and closed his eyes, leaning into the man’s palm as he rubbed his crooked knuckle against his cheek at the thought of his _own things_. Spencer didn’t really notice how tired he was until that moment, and yawned, which made David laugh. “ _Passerotto_ , can you please pick a blanket for Spencer to borrow for tonight?”

Aaron hummed his affirmative and Spencer blinked open his eyes when the boy pressed an achingly soft piece of fabric into his hands. Aaron had selected a dark green blanket with an edge made of sage colored satin, and Aaron beamed at him brightly as Spencer held the blanket in two anxious hands.

“Yours!” Aaron chirped, popping a pacifier into his mouth with a yawn. His eyes were half-lidded, and he pressed a hand fisted in his blanket to his cheek, the dog from his bed tucked securely under his arm.

“Thank you,” Spencer hummed sleepily, and let David lead both boys down the hallway and back into the living room, the forest green blanket draped securely over his shoulders.

There seemed to have been explosion of a blanket factory in David’s living room because the L-shaped couch was bordering on a pallet of pillows and blankets, Penelope tucked into a corner on the floor swaddled in what appeared to be three blankets, a stuffed unicorn in her lap, while Emily was trying to throw M&Ms into Derek’s mouth from her position on the couch, and his on the far edge of the blanket pallet. She was a remarkably poor shot, which worked out for JJ, because quite a few of the chocolates landed right in front of her, where she was laying amidst the blankets, kicking her feet happily as she snacked on popcorn and chattered with Penelope.

David easily led the two sleepy boys around the mayhem that was the other four kids, who didn’t even cast a second glance at Spencer’s childish pajamas and tucked himself into a crevice in the couch. Aaron eagerly following after him to lay alongside him, his head pressed against David’s heart, one of the man’s arms draped over his hip as the boy snuggled in and sighed happily. Spencer felt distinctly out of place, because a very loud part of him was insisting that it would be comfortable, and it’d feel so good to sit pressed on David’s other side, while an even louder alarm bell in his brain was blaring, incessantly reminding him that it was enough of a burden to have made the man bathe him and dress him when he was perfectly capable of doing it himself, and _cuddling_ was something Spencer didn’t _need_.

He didn’t shift anxiously for too long because Aaron was blinking up at him in confusion, casting purposeful glances at the spot on David’s other side, where he’d opened his free arm invitingly.

“Do you want to come cuddle, _piccolino_?” the man’s eyes were warm and fond, so Spencer nodded shyly and slipped onto the leather couch beside him.

David carefully encouraged him to lean on the man’s broad chest, so he did, settling in the crook of his chest and arm, his forehead nearly touching Aaron’s. He snuggled in and let the warmth of someone beside him, the feeling of David’s thumb rubbing gentle circles on his lower back, relax him. Spencer inadvertently let out a comfortable sigh, which earned a happy hum from both David and Aaron, who reached across David’s stomach to tap Spencer’s wrist gently with one outstretched pointer finger. Spencer rubbed his eyes, yawning, and extended his own, the other hand tucked up against his face, fisted in the dark green blanket, and Aaron happily hooked his pointer finger around Spencer’s with a pleased squeak from behind the pacifier bobbing in his mouth.

Spencer couldn’t help his eyes fluttering shut, even when he felt more so than heard David insist that Penelope take her turn picking a film, even when he heard the other kids chattering enthusiastically around him.

It was just so nice to relax beside David, feeling warm and looked after, Aaron’s finger hooked in his own helping to remind him that he was safe, they told him he was wanted, and he couldn’t help but fall asleep, his crooked finger slipping into his mouth as he sighed and went boneless against the man gently rubbing his thumb against his hip. It was the most peaceful he’d felt in ages.


End file.
